You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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