i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
There's even glitter on my cock...
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