It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
