i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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