she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
