you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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