True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
