I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
