do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I love having hate sex.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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