Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
