you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
