Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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