does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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