The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
