Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
