I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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