I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
