Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
