yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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