I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
