You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
