somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
