you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
