remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize