Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
