she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i out mim tonsoeep
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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