Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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