dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
