Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
