blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
