I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
tell me about the eggs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize