we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
