Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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