belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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