Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Vodka?
Forever.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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