i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
