well you can't waste a boner
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
