if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
