I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
