I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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