therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
