wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
