This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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