I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
