oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
