trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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