We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
