I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
