i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize