You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
