We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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