His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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