I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
