if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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