She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
