What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
