I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize