And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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