none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
