What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
