This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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