Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
