I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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