that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
