The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
