don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
