I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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