you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
