So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I looked at my own cervix.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
