You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
