Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
