So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
