We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
