I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
