i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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