i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
