Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
