That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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